Recently Sr. Catherine Schwemer, a member of the Community of the Poor Handmaids of Jesus Christ spoke to a group of La Salette Associates at the National Shrine in Attleboro. MA. She is the Executive Director of NACAR (North American Conference of Associates and Religious) which includes some 200 Associate congregations. This is the second part of her sharing on La Salettes and Associates.
NACAR recently did a study of Associate-Religious Relationships. A very large group participated in this study – 45,000 Associates from the United States and 20,000 Associates from Canada. Here are some attitudinal lessons from this survey:
Mainstays for Becoming and Remaining an Associate
Most Associates agree that regular contact with the vowed religious and other Associates as well as formal formation and participation in the institutes (orders) were most important to them. They felt that prayer and clarity of their mission were keys to fostering relationships between Associates and the religious with whom they are connected.
The study found that the greatest differences in the perceptions of associates and religious are in the areas of ministry and sense of vocation (see diagram to the right). Therefore it is good to remember that people become Associates not only because they have a friendship or connection with a certain religious or community, but also because they have and feel a call from God. Both the Associates and religious polled recognized and agreed that Associates are attracted to the institute (order or congregation) primarily by a desire for a deeper spiritual life and the charism of the particular congregation.
Also sensitivity to correct terminology is important. For example, a group of Associates are primarily a community, not simply as Associate “program.” Associatese are not only in relationship with fellow Associates. The Associates are also connected to the members of the institute (order) and vice versa.
The Culture of Religious Life
In religious life there is a certain “culture” (their way of looking at things, stories and experiences, ministries and life) and vowed religious have 9-12 years of formation to become inculturated into their religious community. Their culture influences their expectations, appropriately or inappropriately. Learned expectations are part of their formation. Appropriate expectations are learned from their congregation’s Rule of Life (containing their constitutions and capitular norms).
What, then, is the culture of particular religious community? It is their lived history – stories and experiences, both corporate and personal. The culture of a group of religious also reflects their values, mission and vision. It frames their experience and involves their living out of their charism and building up their shared oral history. They renew and deepen their culture by sharing their community’s stories and experiences, ministries and life, thereby building trust and passing on these stories and relationships.
Ordinarily we don’t think of someone’s (or our own) “culture” until somehow someone violates another’s cultural expectations. Unfortunately culture is most often unconscious. Therefore violations of or conflicts with someone’s culture can create misunderstandings.
The Culture of La Salette Associates
As La Salette Associates, we also have a culture of our own, involving our stories and experiences, our values, mission and vision. However, unlike vowed La Salette religious, we do not have 9-12 years to build and solidify our culture – that which helps us feel a part of our community. In fact, most religious see their formation as a lifelong process, an ongoing deepening of their relationships, history and culture, their experiences and life-lessons.
That is precisely why we need at least one full year of initial formation to deepen our roots and expand our knowledge and experiences. In fact, many people agree that our formation should probably should be from 1-3 years in duration.
As Associates we look into the heart of the La Salette Missionaries — understand the basics of their charism and mission, meet other Associates and personally meet and relate with various La Salettes. We seek out personal and communal experiences with them because these vowed religious are “a walking charism.” They embody their charism and can help us, as Associates, appreciate the charism that we share.
Also Associates hold a mirror back to these vowed religious and can give them an opportunity to reflect on how they are living their own vowed life.
The Language of the Church
We need to learn the language of the Church in order for each of us to hear each other clearly and properly.
Our experience of living out our call as Associates is similar but different from the religious. For example, we can be a member of the Mickey Mouse Club or the Donald Duck Club, but not both. OR what happens is that both get watered down and become meaningless. Also if Associate Board members make rules, by-laws, etc. without the input of the Associate members, the Associates won’t necessarily be able to own and see value in those rules, etc.
It’s good to remember that the Congregation (religious order) does not receive our commitment; instead our Associate group does. Accountability includes certain rights and responsibilities requiring our accountability and response.
However Associates of any congregation cannot afford to wait for everyone in that congregation to be onboard with accepting Associates; we proceed alongside them, not necessarily with everyone’s full support. Although it is probably true that some religious aren’t too keen about the idea of having Associates, that’s alright.
We are unique in the Church — there is a need for community and a need for communion. We are attached to the Congregation (the La Salettes) by our heart.
When we are involved in the formation process to become an Associate, we have the wonderful opportunity to meet with candidates one-to-one, peer-to-peer in our Associate group. This time together becomes something the present and future Associates remember as a valuable and worthwhile experience of our Associates’ community.
Similar But Different
Our lives as Associates or La Salette Missionaries are different but we share the same charism while living it our in varying ways. We are all part of the colorful patchwork quilt that we call the Church. We are all tied to Christ yet experience the freedom of the sons and daughters of God. We each have our gifts but can respond in a myriad of ways as we spread God’s love and Mary’s message of reconciliation to all God’s people.
by Sr. Catherine Schwemer,
Poor Handmaid of Jesus Christ,
Executive Director of NACAR